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doc hopper

November 7, 2011

I just woke up. My eyes can barely open properly. The glare of the computer screen is making me tear up. But, my sister insisted that I post more often on my blog, and you know, I really am missing it, so here we go:

Last night, and I mean, just literally seconds ago, I was dreaming of eating frogs. Not frog legs, mind you, but big juicy frog bodies. I don’t quite remember why we were eating them, but it was some kind of special occasion that we had gone to a special restaurant for. Here’s how the restaurant was set up: two giant stock pots on top of a couple burners in one corner of the dining area, and tables from a cheap Chinese food restaurant in the other (complete with those chairs upholstered in red vinyl…you know, they stack). All the frogs came in those Styrofoam trays like meat at the grocery store. Just like chicken breast or hamburger, you had to peel back the plastic wrap to get at your juicy dead frogs. They hadn’t been cleaned, though, so it was necessary to dunk them in the first pot to drown all the bugs that were attached to each frog body, and then transfer them to the second pot for boiling. And let me tell you, the bugs were awful. I recall feeling squeamish in the dream. One frog had a giant beetle attached to it’s eye, and that beetle would not budge. My mother came over and pulled it off, as if to say to me, “Oh, grow up.”

Finally, our frogs were done boiling and we all had moved back to our seats to enjoy them. Everyone was given a tray of compartments for vegetables, rice, and frog. Pete couldn’t stop talking about how much he loved the butt part. Like, biting from the rear end. I’m not sure why that would be a specific thing, because really they weren’t enormous frogs, and unless you start eating the head first, starting at the butt is the only way I can think to do it. So we all took bites of the body starting at the bottom, and holy crap I think I might vomit just thinking about it.

The texture was a stringier, mushier lobster tail with organs. The skin was tough but the insides were like meaty oatmeal plus goo. I thought it was awful. I still think it was awful. Everyone else seemed to like it, though, and I said, “Uuugh. I don’t think I want to finish this.” And nobody else could understand what was wrong, but my mother said, “Well, if you don’t want it stop playing with it.” So I did, and then I woke up.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. Lyndsay permalink
    November 7, 2011 1:51 pm

    I’m so glad I read this while eating my breakfast! 🙂 welcome back!

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