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reconnection

November 16, 2011

I’ve been feeling kind of old and achey lately (as in, wah, I have a canker sore, and wah, my knee kind of hurts, and wah, constipation!), so I was relieved that I was able to pretty much go right to sleep last night. We had a very fun evening with friends, so that was even better. Of course, none of those friends were in my dream. Nope. This one is another friend’s love lost-and-found scenario, not unlike this post.

In the dream, I am in an attic. Well, it feels like an attic, and in it are racks and racks of old clothes. I look at them and discover they’re my friend Kirsten’s old clothes, in all different sizes, many of them still with tags. There’s even the possibility of finding the same thing in two different sizes, there are so many clothes. It’s like a store. She walks around with her mom and encourages me to take anything I want. I keep looking at these two maroon shirts with white vests, and trying to decide whether I should get the plus-sized one or just the large. I get the feeling that everyone is watching me, even though there are only two or three other people up in this attic with me, and they are mostly doing their own thing. I start stressing about how people will perceive me if I choose one over the other (I don’t want people to think that I think I’m so thin I should choose the Large [“Omg, please. As if she could fit in that. Who is she kidding?”]. But if I don’t and I choose the Plus-sized one instead, I’m afraid it won’t fit and everyone will still think I’m just doing that as a way to fish for compliments [“You’re too hard on yourself! You’re definitely not an XXL!”]). Right. Stupid anxious brain.

While I am debating which size to get (which is totally moot, because the shirt is SO UGLY that really I should just put it down and never return), the attic store gets transformed into a stadium, with rows and rows of people. I try to sneak down one of the staircases, but the King notices me and orders that I return to my seat. I obey, and turn around to find the seat I have been assigned. While I’m looking, a friend I haven’t seen in 10 or so years pops out of the crowd. I used to cheerlead with her, and we had lots of sleepovers and birthday parties. Our moms were friends, so we hung out a lot. She was the first person who told me about bj’s. I was horrified (I think that’s why she told me? Because she knew I would be uncomfortable?) Anyway, I see her there in the stands and I am so happy! She is so happy! We hug, we are that happy. We share the usual, How are you/ How have you been/ What have you been up to lately conversation, and she asks why we ever stopped being friends. My reason (“Ehh, college, and stuff…”) doesn’t fly, so we decide to hang out forever after this. The dream ends happily with the rebirth of a friendship. Ahhh. I like that.

In real life, no, we probably wouldn’t be best friends again. But it would be nice to reconnect!

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